the years gone by
To be completely honest, I think I’ve been in some kind of spiritual rut for the past four years. Four years. That sounds ridiculously long, especially at this age (four years is a fifth of my life!), but it’s the truth. I remember how I was so on fire for God when I was in my sophomore and junior years of high school. But looking back, I have to question if that fire was what I thought it was. I definitely did believe in God, but I think church became such a social part of my life that at the time, it was kind of the “cool” thing to be a really passionate Christian. So was I just playing the part, fueled by social constructs, or was it something genuine that eventually fizzled out? Only God knows.
For the past four years, I don’t know why, but I started distancing myself from God. It was a strange feeling because in my head, I understood and knew how I should be living, but I became so involved with the things of this world and was unwilling to let those things go. I lost sight of my priorities; the only one who gives me life is God. A couple days ago, for the first time in a long time, I prayed not only with words but with my heart. I felt such a burden come off my shoulders and was filled with a sense of peace and joy. I could feel God’s love come over me.
Even now, I can’t say I have zero worries about where my life is heading, but I’m doing my best to just let go and trust in God’s plan for me.
Now on to Day 2! Today is Genesis 6-10… Noah’s Ark (has anyone heard this story before? ;D)
While reading the first part, I couldn’t help but find it incredible—incredulous?—that on all the earth, there was only one family that still worshiped God. I find it incredulous because it’s hard to imagine that an entire world would forget God. And I find it incredible that Noah stayed true to Him. When you’re in any group setting, it’s so hard to overcome peer pressure, and everyone wants to fit into social standards. But Noah didn’t care about all those things, even when everyone thought he was insane, and did what God told him to do. I can’t imagine that it was an easy task. Major, major props to Noah.
Chapter 9 also reminded me of the power of words. After the flood, Noah planted a vineyard. One day, he got a little too wine-happy and passed out naked in his tent (some things never change, huh?). His middle son Ham saw his passed out naked father and mocked him to his brothers. His brothers, Shem and Japheth, didn’t join in the mock-fest, but “walked in backward and covered their father’s nakedness.” Of course when Noah found out, he was pretty furious at Ham, so much so that he cursed his descendants (and blessed Shem and Japheth’s).
In the Bible, particularly in the Old Testament, people and nations are constantly being blessed and cursed. I haven’t gotten there yet (I’ll probably address this more when I do), but there was that whole Jacob and Esau incident. Isaac accidentally blessed Jacob; even though he didn’t mean to do it, there was nothing he could do to reverse that blessing. Clearly in our current day, words don’t seem to have quite the power they did back in these Old Testament times. We often say things and throw words around as if they’re nothing, but they are something. This is a reminder to myself to watch what I say.
